Kimye's Got Me Stumped
/Is this possibly the biggest AND best PR stunt of all time, or are they really in love ?
A Single Spin On Things
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Kim Kardashian & Kayne West L Officiel Hommes
I was going about my normal person food-shopping business today at the Whole Foods on Second Ave., when a man fully ran over my foot and half my leg with a mini-shopping cart. FIRST, What is a “mini-shopping cart?” I grew up in a suburb of Boston where we have the real-life sized carts, where suburban gluttons pile it all in, this was not a normal sized cart. Why this is relevant, is because I’ve had previous grocery store incidents, all involving larger scale food shopping machinery, but this little thing packed a significant punch! So I’m standing in the isle with a throbbing leg, staring at what is considered an “attractive New York City man”. Clean, stylish, healthy food in cart,nice jeans, sporting some scruff and a tortured East Village artist persona. It was here I came to a life altering realization. Old me, in this case meaning single me, would have fully romanticized this painful interaction. Blindsided by fantasies of years down the line, at our wedding toast,; friends all gathered round, laughing about how we first met at Whole Foods in a cart-on-cart collision. Something like love as first sight over Kenwa and kale chips. However now, I find myself in an amazing relationship, and the question at hand is; was it ever romantic? I’ve decided the answer is no. All the unintentional and intentional, dangerous, embarrassing, life-threatening things men have done were never cute. Now I'm the dumb girl in the grocery store with a sore toe, and nightmares of divorce! The point is, I'm done being an unrealistic romantic, however if I ever find myself single again, and you want to date me, your best bet is to find me in Soho on a Sunday, and hit me with your Porsche. Let's be honest, you would probably get a date. How can one not romanticize a hit and run? "Driver roll up the partition please." xxx
Off The Market VS. Ready To Mingle
Netaporter.com picks
Angel Olsen - Rosy Cheeked Beauty & A Voice That Kills
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There’s something to be said for rosy cheeked midwestern girls with beautiful voices, and that something is “I want you all to myself”. In spite of this, I feel the need to share Angel Olsen’s music. An extraordinary level of vocal sincerity exists in her vibrato, voice cracking dance with being out of control, as she simultaneously and unfalteringly maintains a Patsy Cline-esque grip on such folk intonations. Her lyrics are rife with issues of love, yet somehow she avoids banality by displaying her own self awareness and sense of agency in the situations each song conveys. When she sings it’s as if she’s beelining it, through corniness on one side and cynicism on the other, to a tranquil home on the range she has built for herself. It’s not that she’s shattered my boyish crush, but anyone who can convincingly sing the lyrics “I am life” probably knows a bit more about life than me, which is intimidating. To my NY people, I strongly recommend seeing her on February 20th at Le Poisson Rouge. I’ll be there. Just look for the guy with roses in his hand, anxiety in his heart, and a book on convincing people to move away from the midwest because unfortunately it will never be a fun place. No. Not even with Chicago on its side.
◎ Chandler ◎
